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When my husband and I walk our husky together, I find myself sighing when we take the same old path over and over. How many times can Charley sniff the same plants? Of course, there might be new animal smells (new pee-mail 😂 for her to read ) but honestly, I would much more prefer to change it up daily.
Not everyone is like me. Many people, like my darling hubby, love the predictability of the walk and don’t love change unless the payout is huge. Only then are we willing to change. At least that’s what we think.
One of my client's direct report hated going to work because he simply couldn’t fathom reporting to a woman (the CEO, and my client) and although he wanted it to change, he wasn’t willing to give up his habit of talking badly about her (it united him to other negative people and gave them a common bond), his belief about women CEOs in general, or the bias about women he was raised with.
He said he wanted to grow but he really didn’t. The good news is that this only happens 2% of the time in my practice. Most people that come across my desk do want to grow even if they’ve been in the workforce for 50 years. Yes, true story!
Growth has very little to do with learning something new and much more to do with deciding what no longer deserves a place in our lives. We already know many of the changes we need to make. The hard part comes when an old version of ourselves keeps trying to convince us to stay the same because it is easier.
People want healthier relationships but keep reacting the same way. They want stronger businesses but keep making the same decisions. They want more peace but keep listening to the thoughts that bring them anxiety. The future they want keeps competing with the present habits that created the very situation they are trying to get away from (boy, that was a mouthful!).
Your old patterns and old thinking don't deserve the final vote on what you need to do. Growth starts the moment you stop asking the person you used to be for permission to become the person you're capable of becoming.
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Three things you can do starting today:
- Pay attention to the moments where you already know the right choice but keep talking yourself out of it. You have enough people not helping you, don’t be one of them.
- Before saying yes, fixing a problem, or stepping in, ask yourself if this decision belongs to the person you're becoming or the person you're trying to outgrow.
- If there is a habit you want to change, just focus on ONE small thing you can do to inch toward a better habit. Small decisions repeated consistently create the biggest change.
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And of course, ask me about my fun, energizing online self-paced courses with zero homework and zero tests, but with 100% results. If you mention this newsletter, I’ll give you a great deal with no subscription!
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About Carol:
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The Lion Tamer's Court, 16312 Highgate Drive, Riverside, CA 92503
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