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One of my clients has a well-established and well-recognized company that by most standards is quite successful. The business keeps growing, clients are staying, the team is producing results, and there is very little evidence that anything is wrong.
One recent afternoon he came into our session and said he was tired all the time and he couldn't remember the last time he truly felt relaxed, even during weekends or vacations. As he described what was happening, I realized his schedule wasn't the problem, his workload wasn't the problem, and even the people around him weren't the problem. Surprisingly, it wasn't the workload that was wearing him down. It was his own mind catastrophizing.
Before even arriving at the office, he had already worried about employees who might quit, clients who might leave, projects that might go sideways, conversations that might become difficult, and outcomes that might create problems months down the road. By the time he sat down at his desk, he had mentally traveled through a dozen worst-case scenarios, none of which had happened, yet his body was reacting as if each one was happening at that moment.
He was spending a tremendous amount of emotional energy preparing for situations that existed only in his imagination. He wasn't reacting to reality nearly as much as he was reacting to possibilities, and since those possibilities felt real to him, his body responded exactly the same way it would if there had been an actual crisis sitting in front of him. He gave attention to future problems, invested emotionally in potential conflicts, and spent far too much energy on uncertainties until he found himself mentally exhausted before the day had even begun.
Meanwhile, his employees saw a confident CEO. His clients saw a successful business owner and his family saw somebody who was trying his best to be present.
I asked him to think about all the things he had worried about over the previous thirty days and estimate how many of them had actually happened. He sat there for a moment, smiled, shook his head, and admitted that almost none of them (he actually couldn’t even think of one!) had become reality. The employee he thought was leaving was still there, the client he thought was unhappy renewed their agreement. His mind had been working overtime trying to protect him from problems that never showed up.
That realization became a turning point as it helped him start questioning his thoughts, separating facts from fears. Instead of asking himself what could happen, he began asking himself what was actually happening, and that small mindshift created a tremendous amount of relief. Over time he became more present, more patient, more connected, and far less reactive since he was finally directing his energy toward today's reality instead of tomorrow's imagination.
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If any of this resonated with you, here are three things I invite you to start paying attention to this week:
1. Separate facts from stories.
2. Stop solving problems that don’t exist.
3. Be like my doggo Charley and enjoy THIS moment - even as you are reading this. Be present in the NOW.
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🧠 Coaching That Doesn’t Just Inform—It Awakens
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About Carol:
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The Lion Tamer's Court, 16312 Highgate Drive, Riverside, CA 92503
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