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Funny thing about us people: We can spend years letting one experience make decisions for us without even realizing it.
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One of my clients, let’s call her Shelly, is a Director of Operations who wanted her managers to take more ownership, make decisions, and lead with confidence. Instead, she found herself involved in almost everything.
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When I asked her why it was so hard to let go, she immediately told me about a manager she had trusted years earlier. That manager made several poor decisions that created customer complaints, operational problems, and a lot of extra work. After spending months cleaning up the fallout, she came to a conclusion that felt reasonable at the time: trusting other people created more work than doing it herself.
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The experience and lesson were no doubt important but the problem was that years later she was still making decisions based on someone who no longer even worked there.
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New managers were being measured against Shelly’s old memory instead of their own capabilities and every opportunity to delegate was being marred because of something that happened years ago.
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As we worked together, she began noticing how often her past was influencing her present. She wanted stronger leaders and greater accountability, yet her own habits were preventing people from growing.
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Over the next several months, she delegated more, coached more, and stepped in less. Her managers became more confident, her team became more resourceful, and she stopped completing responsibilities that belonged on other people’s plates.
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I see this happen all the time. A leader gets burned by an employee and struggles to trust again. Sometimes it’s a setback that makes my client hesitant to take another risk.
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If this story resonated with you, there are
three things you can start doing today:
- Identify one belief you keep using to justify staying exactly where you are and ask yourself where it came from.
- Notice when you are making decisions based on an old experience rather than the reality in front of you.
- Before making an important decision, ask yourself whether it is helping you create the future you want or helping you avoid the past you fear.
There are so many more tips around this - contact me if you want to chat about your situation!
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About Carol:
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The Lion Tamer's Court, 16312 Highgate Drive, Riverside, CA 92503
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